How My Sister Changed

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( From the next week, In the evening in Japan Time!)

(Translated and arranged by Saya)

When I was a high school student, I used to get into fights with my younger sister often (Note: the narrator is a man).

We would start arguing about trivial things and, usually, after we both felt we had said enough to each other, we would naturally stop arguing. 

Our fights were never serious and never led to any real harm. 

It was in spring, in the third year of my high school.

I was not doing well at school and it looked unsure whether I would be able to enter the university of my choice.

My parents were putting even more pressure on me. One time, for example, when I got bad marks for my exam, I was only served a few niboshi (small dried fish) with rice for dinner.

Niboshi on Rice

I felt weighed down by stress. My sister's behaviour, which would not normally bother me, seemed so irritating to me now.

One day, she said something --- although I can't recall exactly what she said --- which made me lose my temper, and I flung a remote at her. 

The remote hit squarely on the back of her head. 

She collapsed on the floor, covering her head with her hands. I panicked.

Is she dead? I went near her. 

No... I checked her pulse and she was still alive.

But she has passed out. I should take her to the hospital.

Such a thought did cross my mind, but if this became known, I didn't know how my mum, who was already so harsh to me, would react. I couldn't take such a risk. 

I simply laid my unconscious sister down on a sofa, and left her there, while I went upstairs to my bedroom to sleep. 

Next day, I was thinking how I should apologize to her as I went downstairs. 

She was having breakfast as usual. She didn't appear to be mad at me anymore.

As I was feeling sorry for what happened the day before, I tried to talk to her, which I hadn't done in a while.

But she didn't respond.

Is she still mad at me? 

I thought, but looking back, it would have been way better if she had been just mad at me.

My sister's personality changed from that day onwards.

She used to go out with her friends after school, but now she would not leave her room, except when she went to school in the morning.

And she would not speak a word to anyone while at home.

Once my father asked her, 

"Are you ignoring us on purpose?"

But she didn't say anything and her expression remained blank.

About a month had passed before my parents called me to have a family meeting.

"Have you done something to her?"

They asked me.

"What do you mean?"

I asked in return, but they hesitated to answer.

This was what my father was thinking:

My sister experienced something really shocking.

But she couldn't tell anyone about it because it was too traumatizing.

That was why she remained silent and kept to herself.

In short, they suspected that I sexually abused her.

I somehow or other managed to prove my innocence to them.

But still, the fact remained that I caused my sister to become the way she was, even though it wasn't through abuse. 

I thought to myself that I would do anything for her to become normal again.

A few days later, when I returned home from school, I snuck into my sister's room.

She wasn't home yet. 

This was the only time I could enter her room, because after she came home, she would always lock herself into the room and would never come out.

Her room looked exactly the way it did before she stopped talking.

I was half expecting to see something bizarre, like all the walls painted in black, and I knew I would break down and cry if I saw something like that, but that didn't happen.

This may sound really bad, but I decided to read the diary my sister had kept since she was little. It seemed to be the only way I could get a peek inside her mind. 

I found a diary on her desktop bookshelf, and opened it. 

I flipped through the pages. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.

But about halfway through it, I began to see changes.

I took a good look at them.

The words on the pages were now very large and misshapen, and bore no resemblance to my sister's previous handwriting.

And the sentences, which were somehow all written in Hiragana (Note: little children usually write sentences all in Hiragana because they wouldn't know how to write with kanji, which is way more complex), made no sense at all.

For example:

"A white radish is to a frog a sock even a shiitake mushroom..."

This kind of sentence continued on and on, filling dozens of pages.

A thought came to my mind:

I have damaged her brain.

I was overcome with remorse.

It was partly because I felt I had done something unforgivable to my sister, but even more than that, because I was convinced I would be sent to jail.

I was tearing my hair out, with tears in my eyes, when I noticed someone behind me.

I turned around and saw my sister standing there.

Her face was vacant.

It was still early in the evening, and I hadn't turned the light on, so her emotionless face appeared sinisterly dark in the shadows.

She slowly entered the room without a word.

I backed off. 

Having hung the bag on a hook on the side of the desk, she turned to me, as if my presence disturbed her, and then stared in my direction without moving.

Although my mind was in turmoil, I managed to collect myself and thought I should at least apologize to her.

I knew she wouldn't respond, but my overwhelming sense of guilt made me want to get down on my hands and knees, and beg for her forgiveness.

It was while I was in the process of kneeling down, when my sister all of a sudden darted forward and clutched at my arm.

For a moment, I didn't understand what was happening.

She then darted out of the room, just as suddenly as she moved forward.

Stunned, I realised that the diary I was holding in my right hand a moment ago had been taken away.

She disappeared that night. And she still hasn't come back home.

She is 24 years old this year, if she is still alive.

From the time of her disappearance, my life has continued to go downhill. I lost all motivation for study, and failed the university entrance exam, and failed to get a proper job. Right now, I am at the lowest bottom of the social ladder.

My parents had placed all their hopes and aspirations on my sister until she disappeared, so they have changed completely too.

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⭐As I stated above, I will be posting in the evening in Japan Time from next week. 

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