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(Translated and arranged by Saya)
I was told by a soothsayer that I didn't have many years left to live.
I asked her why.
"You have been to the Continent, haven't you? That's where you got it from. It's much more than an ordinary evil spirit. Its nature is closer to a god and you would have hard time finding someone who would be willing to exorcise it."
It's true that I lived and worked in C__ for a few years in the past.
"Well, don't worry for now, because you will stay alive at least until your son reaches adulthood.*1 I can see a white fox *2 behind you. That's a strong spirit and also there are people in your family who worship Masakado. *3 You have to be grateful for your grandparents. It seems you have one ancestor who went to a nunnery too... But still, you have only a number of years left."
My son is already 15 years old.
Five more years, and I would be saying goodbye to this world? How could she be so sure?
The soothsayer saw the look of disbelief on my face, and continued.
"Didn't you injure your hand in the past which forced you to quit something?"
I did. I was once a jazz pianist with many performance opportunities, but my left hand was injured in a car accident, and it was now all but impossible for me to play the piano.
"It was taken away from you. But your guardian spirits managed to save your life, although just barely. But it is saying that it will definitely take your whole life away too the next time...I am so sorry I have to tell you all these things."
Said the soothsayer, and she didn't charge me for her service.
I would be dead, five years from now?
I couldn't believe it then, and I don't quite believe it now.
But the soothsayer was famous for being accurate with her predictions. She normally charged costly fees, and I talked to her for a long time, but she didn't accept my payment, saying "you should spend that for yourself because your time in this world is short."
After I returned home, I told my husband and son about it.
I said, "I don't really believe it myself, but still I worry what may happen to you if I die..."
They said, "that is for us to worry about. Don't think about it and spend the rest of your life in any way you like."
As of today, I don't have any serious illnesses; but as we all know, each day we live could be our last.
I did pay a visit to a famous shrine sometime after I saw the soothsayer, to request a purification ritual; but it all turned out to be just as the soothsayer had foreseen.
"We want to avoid disturbing a god as much as possible. We would risk our own lives too."
"Pardon me, but what sort of god is possessing me?"
"....It is a god of netherworld. It has taken hold of your left hand....It is not a god of Japan."
So there was no way to escape my fate. Still, I said to the Kannushi,*4
"To tell you the truth, deep down, I'm still skeptical. Because it's something I can't see."
"Having such an attitude actually helps," replied the Kannushi.
"But why me?"
"It is the same as humans. They have preferences. You may have heard of the old wisdom which says that when you are favoured by a god, you have not long to live; that essentially expresses it."
"But I am not a young woman."
"You are more than young enough, in comparison to your true lifespan."
I went to pray at an Inari shrine*5 in my hometown, and I also go to a Masakado shrine near my house daily.
In spite of all that, I have been noticing a strange heaviness on my right shoulder lately.
Moreover, I started dreaming often, although I seldom had dreams before.
In the dream, I am always in an unknown mansion, perpetually playing the piano.
I feel so happy that my left hand is moving, and I think I want to stay here forever.
"You can stay here forever, if you so wish."
Someone replies to my thought, and lies a hand on my right shoulder from behind. That is the moment when I wake up.
I wonder if a day will come when I fail to wake up from the dream.
-----------------------------------------
*1 Adulthood --- People in Japan attend the Coming of Age ceremony in Japan when they reach the age of 20 (
See Wikipedia). But they are allowed to vote from the age of 18 due to the recent legal change (
See Japan Times)
*4 Kannushi --- A kannushi (η₯δΈ», "god master"), is a person responsible for the maintenance of a Shinto shrine (η₯η€Ύ, jinja) as well as for leading worship of a given kami (η₯ god) (
See Wikipedia).
*5 Innari Shrine --- An Inari shrine (稲θ·η₯η€Ύ, Inari Jinja) is a type of Japanese shrine used to worship the deity Inari. Inari is a popular deity associated with foxes, rice, household wellbeing, business prosperity, and general prosperity. Inari shrines are typically constructed of white stucco walls with red-lacquered woodwork, and their entrances are marked by vermilion torii. Shinto Inari shrines are located throughout Japan.(
See Wikipedia. Also see articles at
*3 Fox)
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