Thank you for your loving comments. I'm happy to have updated another post for you! :D

Monday, 30 July 2018

Remainder

(Translated from Japanese by Saya)

"Daddy, what's a 'remainder' in a division?"

 "If you have 37 people in a class and they are asked to make groups of three, how many groups will there be?"

"Hmmm... 12."

"But there is someone who can't join any of the groups, right?"

"Yes, there is one person left over."

"That was me in high school."

"Aww, Daddy...!"

Sunday, 29 July 2018

Reverse Clapping


A person(?) caught on TV doing reverse clapping
(Translated from Japanese by Saya)
There was once a couple on a date who decided on a whim to visit a haunted place, just to have some fun.

But once they got there, they had a fall out, and the boyfriend angrily drove away, leaving the girlfriend behind in the haunted place.

A few minutes later, however, he calmed down and, realising it wasn't a good idea to have left her all alone in a haunted place in the middle of night, made a u-turn to go back to the haunted place.

She was still there, and they soon made up and decided to drove back home together.

On the way back, they saw a boy waving his hand at them. But instead of showing his palm, he was showing the back of his hand while he waved. 

"Poor boy, what is he doing at this time of night? We should give him a lift," the girlfriend said.
"No way. Don't you know that if someone is doing an action that is in reverse to how it is normally done, then that someone is not of this world?" replied the boyfriend.

"Wow, really? How come you know so much?" The girlfriend clapped her hands.
She was hitting the back of her hands together.

Friday, 27 July 2018

Binoculars


(Translated from Japanese by Saya)
I had a strange hobbie.
After midnight I would go up on the rooftop of my house and, using binoculars, observe the town where I lived.
I took joy in looking at the quiet town, so different from how it was in daylight.
Huge water tanks in the distance, a taxi going up the hill with a drunken customer, or a solitary vending machine glowing in the darkness - all such things somehow excited me.

To the west of my house there was a long, steep hill which went straight down to my house.
So when I looked to the west, the entire hill easily came into view.

I was looking at a vending machine placed on the hill with binoculars, thinking something like "oh, a huge moth is flying around it," when I noticed a guy rushing down the hill like there was no tomorrow.

"What was that?"
I refocused my binoculars, and it turned out that the person was a naked, skin-and-bones childish-looking guy, with a broad smile on his face, who was waving madly at me while he ran towards my house at breakneck speed. 
He clearly acknowledged my presence, and moreover he was looking at me straight in the eyes.

For a few seconds, I was too stunned to move, but I had a hunch that something really terrible was about to happen, and quickly ran down the stairs to go back inside the house.

"Oh shit! What was that? What was that? What am I gonna do?"
After I had closed and locked the door, I became totally panicky and terrified.

Then I heard the sound bam bam bam bam bam and realised that the guy had just ran up the stairs to the rooftop. He was clearly looking for me.
"This is really bad. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? Really, what the hell is it?" So on and on I kept thinking in my mind while I stood in the middle of the sitting room with a steam iron (weapon) in my hands and prepared myself for whatever was about to come.

Soon, I again heard him go bam bam bam bam bam bam  as he ran down the stairs.
I was shaking like a leaf and thought I would go mad from fear, when the door went Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang!! and the doorbell rang Ding-dong ding-dong! Diiiing-dong! Ding-dong !!
Not only that, he was groaning like, "Argh! Hummmm! Argh! Hummmm!"

My heart skipped a beat and then began to race and pound like it was about to burst.
Even though my body shook violently, I tried to hold my breath as best I could.
Some ten seconds later, the knocking, doorbell and groaning all came to a halt, and it returned to the usual silence.

But I stood rigid and held on to the steam iron until the dawn broke.
What on earth was that guy?

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

Summer Job at Mountain Cabin


(Translated from Japanese by Saya)
This happened a few years ago. Together with my friend, I was searching for a summer job that paid well.

We found one job advertisement that stated, "Looking for someone to take care of a mountain cabin for one day." It paid 20,000 yens a day.
We phoned immediately but were told that "the job has been filled." We were disappointed, but the next week we again found the same advertisement in the magazine, so we called again.

This time we managed to secure a job interview at a family restaurant*1. The wage would be paid the morning after we had spent a night at the cabin.
We somehow decided to take on the job there and then, and were given a copy of a map to the mountain cabin.
And then the appointed day came.


Sunday, 22 July 2018

Incubation

Hina dolls on a boat
(Translated from Japanese by Saya)
It was around the end of March that my friend Kume*1 and I went on a trip.
We wanted to go before the new semester started*2 so we squeezed some free time in our super busy schedule.
Since he kept going on that he doesn't want to go to touristy places and so forth, we decided to stay at a secluded inn among the mountains.
A river ran by the side of the inn, and if you followed the river to the bottom of the mountain, you arrived at the town.

But having said that, it wasn't as if the town offered anything of interest, so we killed our time during the day by doing various things such as exploring the surrounding area and searching for hot springs.

The sun seemed to sink much earlier than usual when you were on the mountain; already both the sky and roads were ablaze in brilliant red.
We walked along the riverbank, and then from a bridge looked down at the river, the colour of which had turned rusty-red.

An inn by a river

Friday, 20 July 2018

Time Travel

(Translated from Japanese by Saya)
This is a cryptic story!

I have obtained a time machine from a secret source.

That being said, you can travel only to the future using the machine, because if you could go back in time it would alter the course of history and that would be too dangerous.

I decided to travel to the time ten years from now.

 Me, ten years older than I am now -
I wonder what I will be like!


Tuesday, 17 July 2018

Adrift in the Sea

(Translated from Japanese by Saya)

Three men, A, B and C were adrift in the sea.
They had been shipwrecked and only three of them managed to survive on a life boat.
A and B were ordinary businessmen, married with kids.
C had no family and noone waited for his return at home.

One day, A caught a vial which had come floating up to their boat.
Inside the vial, they found a trapped fairy.
Upon being freed from the vial, the fairy said,
"Say one wish. To repay your kindness, I will make it come true."

A and B of course replied that they wanted to go home.
As soon as their words were out, they disappeared.

C at first was going to make the same wish, but remembered how he would be all alone by himself even if he went back home.
And he also recalled how the past days had been hard yet eventful.

He had mulled these things over in his mind before he said,
"Bring A and B back to the boat."


Saturday, 14 July 2018

The Prize in the Box

This story has been translated from Japanese by Saya.

This is a cryptic story!

The old man said to the young man,
"Shall we play a game?"

His explanation of the rules was as follows:
There is a prize amounting to a large sum of money inside a box, and if the young man manages to pry open the box the prize will be his.

The box is extremely stout and it is impossible to open it by bare hands, but surrounding the box are a variety of weapons such as an axe, which the young man is free to use.
There is no time limit whatsoever.

The young man replied that he would play it with much enthusiasm.
It appeared there was no risk at all involved.

The old man nodded and said,
"Actually, there are a few difficult challenges you have to go through before you are able to reach the box. If, however, you are willing to pay me 5o,ooo yens right now, I will let you start from a place closest to the prize."

The young man joyfully handed 50,000 yens over to the old man.

Then the game started.
From the very beginning, the prize was right in front of the young man.

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Cheaters

*This is a cryptic story

The other day my ex-colleague dropped by my work place.
In the past, despite our busy married life, we would often find time to go drinking together.

As it was sometime since we'd seen each other, we went to a nearby cafe to catch up on each other's lives.

I asked, "how are things with you? Behaving badly as always?"
In reply, he grinned and started telling me a story:

Since a year ago, he started dating a girl 10 years younger than him.
Last year, around the Christmas period, he spent the 22nd, 23rd, 24th and 25th of December in her apartment.

As expected, his action had a huge negative impact on his family life.
He actually had enough conscience to feel a twinge of guilt about leaving his little daughter at home, so he decided to go home on the 25th, around 7.00 in the evening.

But his girlfriend would not allow it, of course, and tried to stop him from going by throwing a tantrum. They had a huge fight and after much struggle he was finally able to shake himself free of her grip and get in the elevator to leave.

He was laughing as he concluded the story with:
"And guess what? When I stepped out of the building's entrance, she was there."

This is a true story (to avoid being identified, I've faked the details)

Thursday, 5 July 2018

Heaven

*This is a cryptic story!

My granny died and all our relatives got together at her country home.

There was a kid who was too little to understand about death. He kept running around the house, and one time I found him standing idly by the well in the garden and had to get him to come back inside.

The kid kept staring at the picture of the dead granny with a wondering face.
"Why have they put up such a big picture of granny?"
A typical childish question, but a very sad one.
"Granny has gone to heaven, dear," someone answered him.
Did he really understand what it meant?
"Is heaven inside the well?"
*sigh* ...You see, this is why I hate kids.They are all stupid.