The Never-Ending Dream

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I often have lucid dreams and I am used to having strange dreams, but last night's dream was nothing like the ones I'd ever had before.

I was alone walking down a narrow path in the woods.
Immediately I knew I was dreaming.
The colour green was too vivid, and the unnatural way the soles of shoes scraped the ground was a familiar sign of being in a lucid dream.
Normally when I realise I'm in a lucid dream I soon try to wake up and then go back to sleep again afterwards, but that time somehow I didn't feel like waking up.
So I kept walking down. It was a downward slope.

A house appeared in front of me.
It was a crumbling, Japanese-style wooden house.
Very old indeed.
It must have stood there for over a century, but from the size of it, it could have been a storage building rather than a residential quarter.
"I don't recognise this house...."
I uttered in spite of myself.
It was the first time an unfamiliar place ever appeared in my lucid dream.

It was dark inside the house, but because of the light that was coming from the wooden door I had left open, it was not completely dark.
A dusty wardrobe, and a large mirror covered with spider webs were left lying around.
Some detached wooden planks, small wooden boxes and somehow some spinning tops were scattered all over the floor.
It was a complete ruin.

Wait a minute, why am I in this place?
Why am I walking further into the darker area of the house?
In a lucid dream, where I am supposed to be able to exert total control over everything -  what am I doing?
I peered behind a panel screen that stood in front of me.
I think I "knew" what was behind it.
That was why I wasn't suprised when I saw it.

On the purple kimono*1 spread out long, sleek, black hair.
It was a body of a girl, lying face down.
Immobile, with her arms and legs sprawling, she appeared to be a corpse.
I don't know what made me do it, but before I knew I was holding her body in my arms and turning it over.
The girl was younger than I had expected; she was probably still around 12 or 13 years old.
Her face was pale and I didn't know whether she was alive or dead.
She was extremely thin too.
And yes, now I remembered; her kimono was also soaking wet.

Suddenly my mobile went off.
It seemed too timely, and at the same time out of place, to hear the ringing sound of the mobile. It shocked me.
A new mail flashed in the inbox.
No title.
"Akemi."
Only one word in the mail.
Akemi? Somehow I thought this must be the girl's name.
Just then another mail arrived.
"Tsukisi"
What on earth is this? I really don't understa -...... 

"Holy shit!"
I frantically shook my arms.
The girl had suddenly lurched up and thrust her arms towards me.
Her eyes were wide open.
The eyes looked dull; no, actually they were rotten.
No, no, why didn't I notice it before! The girl's whole body was rotten from the very start!
She could not possibly be alive!
She opend her mouth.
The decaying jaw opened beyond its limit, tearing the flesh in its process.
The mouth that was ready to devour me.
"Uaaaaaghhhhhh!"


I awake screaming.
Back to reality.
I am in my room.
I open my eyes and look around.
That was just a dream. Just a dream.
I try to get my breath back. I've got to think straight. It meant nothing, it was just an irregular lucid dream.
I'll get up now, go to the kitchen, and drink some water  ― .


I was walking down the narrow path in the woods.
"Wh...why? I've woken up! I'm sure I've opened my eyes just now!"
But unmistakably I had strayed into the same dream again.
What the hell is happening?
This isn't a lucid dream.
Obviously something different. Something more terrible.
I walked deeper into the woods.
I stepped inside the derelict house. I peered behind the panel screen.
The purple girl was lying there and I lifted her in my arms.
As if everything had been scripted from the start, I carried out these motions automatically.
I felt nothing inside.
And again, as if according to the script, the mobile went off.
It was all the same as before.
"Akemi"
"Tsukisi"
The girl leapt up!
I knocked her arms down and, turning quickly, I fled out of the house.
Get away, get away!
I have to get away from that monster and this dream!
She hadn't started running after me yet. If I could get out of this house I'd be saved.
My legs nearly gave way but I forced myself to speed up.
I heard something ran out from the back of the house.
Don't worry, I can do it, I can escape! Just three more steps. Two more.
One......I did it!
I never looked back as I got out of the house.
At the same time I felt myself waking up.
Escaped! Completely!
I'm back to reality.
Gasping in fear, I open my eyes.


And I realised.
Again I was standing there.
In front of the delerict house.
My blood froze up in an instant.
How many times do I have to repeat this? When is this dream going to end? I'm going insane from fear!
Somebody! Please, wake me up! Let me out of this dream!
My body started to moving on its own accord. I went inside the house. NO! No don't go in there don't go near the woman don't touch the girl, escape now, shit, I have no time to check the mail!
"Akemi!
"Tsukisi"
I struck down the rotten arms in front of me.
At last my body became free to move at my own will.
I turned around and started running.
I could feel her close on my heels.
She was much faster than before! Shit!
I ran out of the house but didn't feel myself waking up.
Does this mean she won't let me escape this time?
My legs felt like they would give way any minute. Shit, shit, get away, run!
I could feel her presence right behind me.
I shivered.
Just then I felt my heart stop.
As I run I looked behind and there was a large lacerated mouth dripping with decaying juice....
"Aaaaaghhhh!"
I shrieked.
This time I was awake completely.
I sat up in my bed.
I'm not going back to sleep. No bloody way.
My heart was beating hard and my whole body was drenched in sweat.
That wasn't a dream.
Something way more terrible.
If I hadn't managed to escape what would have happened to me?
It was too scary to meditate on it.
I fumbled for my mobile.
Mustn't fall sleep. I can call my girlfriend and talk to her throughout the night. I must stay awake until the morning.

At that very moment -
My mobile went off.
It received a mail.
No, it can't be!
"Akemi"
You've got be kidding me. This can't be happening.....
"Tsukisi"

"Aaaaahhhhhhh!"
I screamed.
The world started darkening and I couldn't stop it.

My hand rested on the panel screen.
I was about to see what was behind it.
I'm finished.
Beyond danger, beyond despair.
I knew I would not be able to escape this time.
I lifted the girl up in my arms.
The mobile received the two enigmatic messages again.
"Akemi"
"Tsukisi"

"What's this?"
There was a third mail -
The third message that had been sent for the first time.
It consisted of only one Chinese character.
"骸 (mukuro - dead body) *2"
 The girl lunged at me.
Because I was looking at the third mail I reacted a second too late.
It was a fatal mistake and I knew it.
Those hands which previously I had been able to fend off, now firmly gripped me.
The girl's rotting right hand was squeezing my left hand.
The girl smiled.
Her decomposing mouth spread widely.
And slowly the mouth began to split at both ends.

The mouth opened wide.
She was ready to ravage my neck with her teeth.

But at that very moment I suddenly regained my composure.
I looked at her hand that gripped my arm.
Yes, she was gripping it.
I knew this feel.
In the real world I had experienced this kind of feeling millions of times.
It was the form I had pracitced so many times.
I can do this!

I breathed in deeply through my tanden*3.
My body merged with the nature.
Fear vanished away.
I struck the monster's neck with a karate chop and taking a control of her left-hand side body, I tossed her on to the floor.
Katate-dori kokyu nage. *4
This is one of the Aikido techniques which I specialize in.
Be it a monster or what it may, if the opponet is relying on strength alone to fight me, I - an Akido user - will not be defeated!
The girl had fallen into a pile of rubbish near the wall.
I immediately regained my posture and took a fighting stance.
Then I called out to the still unmoving monster,
"Bring it on!"

I opened my eyes.
It was not an awakening that was accompanied by the horrible feeling of being cornered, like before.
It was a normal, everyday type of awakening.
I never felt worse in my life but I knew that the nightmare was finally over.

I don't know which part of it was dream or if it wasn't a dream at all from the beginning.
The meaning of "Akemi," "Tsukisi," "Mukuro," still remain a mystery. I googled "Akemi Tsukisi" but found no relevant information.
The cause of the whole thing is also unknown. I happened to visit a famous haunted place yesterday but I think that has nothing to do with it.
Sorry this doesn't make much sense, and moreover, the ending is weird. But I was scared out of my wits.
And I'm glad I practice Aikido. That's all.



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*1 Kimono : A traditional Japanese dress. (pictured on the right)
*2 骸 : this character is usually pronouced as "mukuro" meaning "dead body." I 
placed them both in the bracket, so you can continue reading without having to read the footnote. However, there's still a possiblity that the word means something entirely different from the one I'm suggesting.  
*3 Tanden (丹田): an important focal point for meditative and exercise techniques  (wiki). Here he's probably refering to Shimo-Tanden (下丹田) that exists below the navel, which is also an important point for Zen Buddhism meditation.
*4 Katate-dori kokyu nage (片手取り呼吸投げ): an Aikido technique.  I found vids about it here and here.