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| !!!??? |
Konnichiwa, I’m ARuFa.
Autumn has deepened, and winter is just around the corner.
When it gets this chilly, you start craving a piping hot bowl of nabeyaki udon, don’t you?
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| Nabeyaki Udon |
As for me, I’m a huge fan of nabeyaki udon.
This miraculous invention of humanity—“ridiculously delicious despite being so easy to make”—is truly our ally in getting through the cold winter.
…But nabeyaki udon…
Slurp!
“Gah—HOT!!!”
…is insanely hot, is it not?
Yes, it’s unbelievably hot. It honestly feels like you’re eating actual fire.
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| “Fuu…fuuu” |
…And to cool down that blazing hot nabeyaki udon, all you can really do is blow on it like this: “Fuuu, fuuu.”
That said, considering how hot it is, it takes a considerable number of “fuu-fuus” to cool it down. For a weak, bean-sprout-like guy with no stamina like me, it’s practically a life-threatening task.
If possible, I’d like to automate this blowing process…
Better yet, I’d like a “Bishōjo (cute girl)” to do the blowing for me…
And so, this time—
I’m going to make a device where a Bishōjo blows on your udon to cool it down!
This is the rough idea of what the finished product will look like.
I’m sick of the lonely life of eating nabeyaki udon by myself.
No matter what, I want to create this device and make my dream of “having a Bishōjo blow on my udon” come true!
First, Let’s Make the Bishōjo
Now then, in order to create this “device where a bishōjo blows on your udon,” we first need to make the main component of the device: the Bishōjo.
Let’s ignore the unsettling implications oozing from the phrase “we’re going to make a Bishōjo,” and start with what I prepared: some paper clay.
Since we’re making a Bishōjo this time, I went out of my way to purchase some slightly higher-quality paper clay.
It has a very fine texture and stretches well, so surely it will result in a wonderful cute girl.
Now then, I’ll mix in some skin-colored paint to tint the clay.
This will become the skin tone of our Bishōjo. This time, her character setting is “a bubbly Nordic girl (who loves meatballs),” so I made her complexion a bit pale.
Once the clay is colored, I start sticking it onto a craft mask.
This time (Note: he keeps saying “this time” because he made a different Bishōjo device before this lol), let’s give her a higher nose, and purse her lips so she looks like she’s in the middle of blowing “fuuu, fuuu.”
By the way, I highly recommend this process—it makes you feel like a god creating life.
…And once I embed some doll eye parts to finish it off, the rough facial features of the Bishōjo I’m making begin to take shape.
At this stage, it looks something like this:
That looks SCARY
I’m not gonna lie.
It was supposed to be a cute face, but it ended up looking like the physical embodiment of the void.
…That said, this is still just a work in progress.
If I add more cute-girl elements here, her beauty is bound to increase accordingly.
So, I promptly prepared a wig. When you think of beauty, you think of “hair,” after all.
If she wears this short blonde wig, her cuteness level should skyrocket.
By the way, the mask alone doesn’t currently have enough of a back of the head to support the wig…
But I solved that problem by sticking in a napa cabbage.
It was actually a good opportunity to reflect on life and realize, “There are some problems in this world that can be solved with cabbage.”
I put the wig over the cabbage…
And finally, if I add a pom-pom knit hat—which makes women in winter look 700,000,000 times cuter—the key component of this device, the “Bishōjo,” is complete.
So now then, ladies and gentlemen, behold!
Here is the Bishōjo who will be blowing on our piping hot udon.
KAWAIIIIIII~~~~
…Yeah, she’s cute.
Definitely cute, isn’t she? SHE MUST BE.
I mean, she’s blonde, fair-skinned, has big eyes, and is wearing a pom-pom hat. There’s no way that’s not cute, right?
Her eyes might be staring slightly into the void, and her expression might look like it exists somewhere between reality and fiction—but she’s properly “cute,” isn’t she?
This is completely unrelated, but when I placed a pair of sketching mannequin hands I had at home next to her, it gave off a really peaceful vibe.
Turning the Bishōjo into a Device
Now that the Bishōjo’s face has been successfully made, it’s time to modify her into a device.
Specifically, we’re going to make it so that actual “fuuu-fuuu wind” comes out of her mouth.
So, what I’ve prepared is this PVC pipe.
I’ll attach this to the Bishōjo’s mouth so that air passing through the pipe will come out from her mouth.
It will be necessary for the pipe to stick out slightly from her mouth — but no worries.
I carefully covered the exposed part with paper clay and shaped it into charming lips.
How does it look? Pretty nice, isn’t it?
My sense of normalcy has been numb for quite some time now, so if this looks wrong in some way, I’d appreciate it if you told me.
…Anyway, at this point, we’re almost done!
All that’s left is to connect the Bishōjo to this gasoline-powered blower (fan)….
….which I received from an acquaintance, to serve as the wind power source for cooling the udon with “fuuu-fuuu”…
Ta-Da! We Did It!
The “Bishōjo Fuu-Fuu Device.”
What do you think? At long last, we created the device that lets a cute girl blow on piping hot udon.
Granted, it may look quite different from what I originally imagined, but I know this will be enough to make my dream come true.
So without further ado, let’s try using this “Bishōjo Fuu-Fuu Device”!
Trying Out the Device
Now, in order to use the device, I’ve once again prepared a piping hot bowl of nabeyaki udon.
This time, for the sake of making it even look cooler, I scattered some diorama snow powder around the udon and even prepared some dry ice smoke.
Of course, this does nothing to lower the actual temperature of the nabeyaki udon—but once the Bishōjo’s “fuuu-fuuu” is added, I’m sure I’ll be spending a blissful time like no other.
And finally, after putting on my windproof UNIQLO seamless down jacket, all preparations to activate the device are complete!
Without further ado, let’s switch on the blower (fan) and have the Bishōjo blow on the udon.
By the way, the switch is right here.
The blower’s manual said it was “powerful,” so it should cool the udon properly!
…All right, here we go!
The lovey-dovey life with a Bishōjo I’ve dreamed of for years begins now!!
“Switch…”
“ON!!!”
BWAAATSSHHH!!!!!
…Huh?
Wait a second.
I said wait.
Hey.
This is nothing short of an accident.
The wind…. it’s way too strong.
I had prepared the blower thinking it would produce about as much wind as an electric fan—but the moment I turned it on, a deafening roar erupted and everything in front of me turned white.
Reading the blower’s manual, it says it produces wind speeds of 79 meters per second—apparently strong enough that, in a typhoon, houses would collapse at that level.
Overwhelmed by such sheer, crushing “power,” I was quite literally blown away and left in a daze.
However, the udon barely remaining in my mouth had indeed been cooled to about room temperature.
In other words, the device was technically a success—but since the room ended up in a state of total devastation, there was absolutely no joy in it.
For all of you out there, even if it’s a hassle, it’s probably better to cool your nabeyaki udon with your own mouth.
Otherwise, you may be struck by the supernatural phenomenon of a typhoon forming inside your house, destroying everything in sight.
And it will not be just your belongings but your very “heart” that will get destroyed—like mine did —then it’ll be too late.
So please, be careful.
Well then, everyone, SAYONARA.
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Comments
Much love ~💖
LOL XD, That's a horror in another form